Welcome to Real Time, a community building blog that seeks to provoke thought, encourage conversation, and help our friends and colleagues understand what goes on "behind the scenes" at the Maine Community Foundation.
Jul
27
Written by:
Meredith Jones
7/27/2010 8:29 AM
Last September I posted a blog about Bucky Badshorts and the saga of the jet ski on our little pond. As I recounted, a year-round resident on the pond, concerned about her grandchildren’s safety, filed a petition with the Maine Department of Inland Fish & Wildlife (IF&W) to place limits on horsepower as a way to keep jet skis under control. The petition was signed by virtually all of the camp owners at our end of the pond. The public hearing produced its share of drama, but at its conclusion, the opposing sides seemed to set aside differences.
IF&W issued its findings late last fall, after seasonal camp owners had returned home. The agency decided not to place horsepower limits on the pond, but indicated they’d reconsider their ruling if problems continued and the jet skier was unable to honor the 200-foot no-wake rule.
I spent most of this past dark winter counting the days until camp was open. Returning in late April, I was surprised to find a marker in the water identifying the no-wake zone and a seven-foot stockade spite fence along the property boundary between the parties. Sadly, since summer began, we have witnessed more than one angry exchange of words, and Bucky's high-speed antics have been as predictable as the sunrise.
We are enjoying one of the sunniest, warmest summers in memory. I can think of no better place to be than on a pond in Maine, enjoying the laughter of children swimming, watching osprey swoop down to catch fish, and listening to the quiet conversations of paddlers and kayakers. Unfortunately, life on the pond hasn't been as idyllic as I'd hoped because of the simmering resentment and the resulting behavior.
This is one small, personal example of how individual behavior can affect entire communities. Yet it begs the question: How do we resolve conflict like this in ways that honor both the individual and collective needs of the community and its members? Please share your stories, some of which surely have better endings than this one.
Tags:
3 comment(s) so far...
Re: The Return of Bucky Badshorts
Ah the arsenic age of youth. Been there and endured it. The good news is that Bucky will one day become and adult and his view of the world will change. The trouble is the situation has become toxic. Now, to both sides, even small actions are indicative of perceived larger intent and it is irritating to the max. To the extent both sides or if necessary, just one, becomes as "Zen" as possible about this, the tensions will likely ease and the spite will begin to subside. before long, Bucky will develop a receding hairline and a brood of his own to occupy his concern. Time will take care of it in the long term and mentally stepping away from the engagement will help short term.
By Jean Deighan on
8/11/2010 8:06 AM
|
Re: The Return of Bucky Badshorts
Hi Meredith,Thanks for sharing about the dispute between Bucky Badshorts and the discontent neighbor. Indeed, neighborhood conflict can profoundly affect all aspects of community life, even peaceful summer pond scenes.
It sounds to me like each of these people has a strong vision for what their own "camp experience" should be like - Bucky thinks he has a right to jet ski - the neighbor thinks they have a right to peace and quiet.
You may know about my Group Decision Tips. I have written 130 of them. The one that comes to mind here is Interests Rather Than Positions. If Bucky and the neighbor could actually talk face to face about their underlying interests, calmly, with a genuine desire to reduce the conflict, chances are they could find a solution.
Unfortunately, making conflict is usually easier than making peace. Talking to your neighbor is sometimes the hardest thing thing to do. One of Martin Luther King's principles of Non-Violence is: "Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people."
I'm not sure a link will work here, but here's the Tip: Good Group Decisions Newsletter #43
Thanks for writing such a great blog. Wishing you many peaceful summer pond scenes before Fall.
By Craig Freshley on
8/11/2010 8:29 AM
|
Re: The Return of Bucky Badshorts
Thx for your comments, Jean and Craig.
Jean: I hate to tell you this, but Bucky became an adult about the same time I did! I think Craig is on to something. We camp owners ought to engage in a conversation about interests -- not positions. Maybe there is a solution after all. So stay tuned......
Craig: Thx for the help. Am headed to the pond tomorrow w/ your tip book in hand.
By Meredith on
8/11/2010 8:26 AM
|
|
|